Loneliness is a double edged sword for the spiritual seeker. It begins as an insidious feeling of not being fulfilled. Even in the presence of loving relationships, we encounter a loneliness that is not resolved no matter how many loving relationships we engage in. In my previous post I began to explore the loneliness that one encounters on the spiritual healing journey. With an empty heart the seeker sets off on a lonesome path which few desire to pursue; caught in a double bind of loneliness. For the lucky aspirant who has been called to the spiritual path, there is no turning back. To turn back is to live with a devastating loneliness of the soul, and to carry on is to walk the razor’s edge.
In the beginning the seeker feels that he has come home to himself. There is usually some kind of experience of an epiphany that offers a glimpse of the state of wholeness but this is usually a lure. The seeker then engages in practices to once again make that ecstatic experience his new reality. The path is strewn with obstacles, disappointments and confrontations with inner conflicts. Doubts about the validity of the goal exacerbate the feeling of despair that seeps into the soul. It takes a warrior spirit to rally on in the face of physical, mental and spiritual anguish, on this journey to wholeness. These themes are played out in our mythology and in our legends of the mystics.
What is this loneliness that we encounter that is not assuaged by the loving companionship of others? This is the The Play of Consciousness that is at the heart of the journey, as I mentioned in my post, What Is Spirituality. It is the stage at which a soul begins to sense that there is more to life than the mundane experiences of the superficial level of his engagement in the world. The soul is beginning to feel a weariness of spirit in an endless cycle of dissatisfaction. There is usually nothing with which it can be attributed as often the seeker has attained what we call worldly success.
As we become committed to the spiritual healing journey, we begin to understand the meaning of life and begin to integrate the wisdom of the spiritual teachings. Spiritual practices are supports that help us to stay centered and to become established in the experience of wholeness. We begin to see life with a new perspective. We focus on the truth of who we are rather than allowing the mind to dwell on what we are not. We gradually attain the state of truth, goodness and beauty which is the nature of the Self.
In the words of Nisargadatta Maharaj, ” Your personal universe does not exist by itself. It is merely a limited and distorted view of the real. It is not the universe that needs improving, but your way of looking…..It is a stage on which a world drama is being played. The quality of the performance is all that matters; not what the actors say and do, but how they say and do it.”
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- 1M 11.08.10 at 3:48 am
- I feel like this so much lately. I wonder at why I haven’t found a group of likeminded people that at least understand what it means to walk this path. I don’t need someone to talk deep and meaningful with every moment but it’s good to feel understood. I’m tired of relationships with nice people that I know aren’t right for me but are safe. I guess I’m not alone in these feelings but my life is filled with people happy enough with their partner, their children, having fun and its enough. I enjoy all these things but I feel compelled towards something else. This whole article really speaks to how I feel. I’m not rejecting the loveliness of the wonderful experiences it’s just that the deep satisfaction comes from something more and I”m still a little afraid of fully embracing the something more (or alternatively the nothingness)…….. anyways thanks for this post. I feel a little less like an alien on this great wee planet. M
